Thursday, February 28, 2008
Dear Sansa
No, that wasn't right. Lucas scribbled the line out and tried again.
Dearest Sansa
Still wrong. Why the hell hadn't erasers been invented yet?
To Sansa
And that sounded like an elementary school valentine. Check yes or no?
Sansa,
I've written started this letter thousands of times on paper, and many more in my head. There's no telling what I'd intended to say any one of those times, and even now I have no idea what I could possibly put in to words to express how I feel about you, and what I've done to you in the short time we've known one another.
How long has it been? Three years now since I met and proposed to you? I remember why I'd done it too. You were like an angel from heaven, you fell from the clouds and straight in to my life. I don't know what I'd have done if you hadn't been there for me all those times, if you hadn't held me up when I could barely stand on my own. You, with your grown up ways and your beautiful eyes, and always having the answer to everything that ever needed to be said or done. You knew everything for the better part of my teenage years, where I knew nothing. I grew up a lot in those three years, I learned things I'd never have known if it hadn't been for that one fateful meeting in the woods. Funny how life works that way.
I've never been able to express to you in person just how much you mean to me, and now I never will. We've parted ways, you and I, and I doubt the two of us will ever cross paths again. No need to worry though, the time we spent together was some of the best in my entire life. You and Ransom made everything right side up again when all was turned around the wrong way, and I want to thank you for that. You saved me, Sansa. You saved me from what could have been an inevitable life of servitude, living for the rest of my days trapped in the past as a stable boy or something worse. Through you I learned courage, common sense, and values, and probably some better morals somewhere along the way.
I can continue telling you how wonderful you've made my life for hours, this could turn in to a book, but eventually it would all become repetitive and tedious. I should have told you more when we were together, and I know it. I took advantage of your smiles and pushed you away without giving you the affection you needed and for that I'm sorry. If I could go back and change it, if I could slap myself three years ago and get my stuff together, knowing what I know now, I'd do everything over, and that time I'd do it right.
We can time travel to so many different places, and yet we can't seem to find ourselves in passing when we do, we never pass by and catch a glimpse of our younger, or even our older selves. Only shadows. It's probably a good thing mind you, paradoxes and the like.
I'm getting off topic.
I guess the point of this letter was lost somewhere along the way. Ransom told me once just to get all of my feelings out on paper, but I couldn't do it at the time. It's not that I thought I was too manly for that kind of thing. Far be it from that I just couldn't think of what to say, I couldn't get any of it out.
I just wanted to tell you that I love you. I've loved you from the moment I saw you and I'll love you until the day the world stops moving, possibly beyond that. I'll never love anyone the same way that I love you. A wise woman once told me that lovers come and go, and that you love each and every one of them differently, but you still love them. I don't think I can, and even so I don't really think that I want to. You were the best thing to ever happen to me and I'm thankful for the time I had.
Now we must part though, and I hope some day you find someone that can do you the justice you deserve. I wish you the longest, and fullest of lives with a husband who dotes on you and children who love you.
Lucas
Posted by Lucas Wylder at 5:27 PM
0 .spoke.
